I thank you for joining us today. Please remember to subscribe on whatever platform you are using to access new episodes. In my previous episode, I talked about authenticity and speaking my truth. This episode of Spirit of Self-Love is about intentional self-expression. Not just the act of speaking our truth and expressing our authentic self, but being intentional about it. Our intentions are the energy that supports any action, belief, or idea. You have a choice what energy supports your creativity. We can create in anger, out of fear, hiding behind our ego, or we can build a compassionate, expanded world with acceptance, willingness, courage, and unconditional love.
Every episode, there is a new person who I feature to give the podcast introduction. Today’s episode intro is spoken by my sister’s boyfriend, Brennon, so thank you Brennon for featuring your voice.
This episode is called, “We Deserve to Be Seen,” and I’m going to discuss two topics. The first one is about surrendering our people-pleasing habits and the second one is about using the intentions of compassion and kind-lovingness to express our truth and embrace our authenticity.
I hope today’s episode encourages you to show up for the expansion of humanity, the collective. I hope it empowers you to release the fear of being your authentic self and to courageously and willingly present your authenticity to a world that sees how you shine, but is waiting patiently for you to see it for yourself. Your presence here is a present. This gift of presence has been given to you by The Universe, and it’s also a gift you give back to The Universe at the same time. So be present, and be seen. Release the fear of visibility now.
With surrendering our people-pleasing habits, the current energy that the collective is in, we are readjusting our priorities, discerning what serves us on our path, and realizing what we can let go of on our journey. We’re in clarity mode. And this clarity mode is calling us all to do some cleaning up in every aspect of our lives. A lot of people are realizing that they have 111% control over their mindset and belief systems. If you don’t know what I mean by “111%,” you should Google “Synchronicity numbers.” Anyway, our beliefs can always change. Our beliefs are ever-evolving, because we are experiencing an ever-evolving world and Universe. We should always be expanding our minds and re-examining our core beliefs. What thoughts and feelings have you been experiencing lately that don’t allow you to feel expansive?
Something I’ve been working on a lot that I know a lot of other people are experiencing right now and is a part of being in our authenticity and speaking and embodying our Truth is that any area of our life where we feel obligated or expected to act, think, or feel in any way by anyone else must be let go of. We all have these conscious and subconscious beliefs of what society “wants from us,” so we act, think, and feel in ways that seek validation from other people or from sources outside of ourselves. Everyone who’s listening knows that the #1 Truth of self-love is that only you can validate yourself. Only you can validate you, because no one else has experienced the exact experiences that you have. No one else has seen what you’ve seen. No one else has felt things how you’ve felt about them. When we seek validation from outside sources, that’s a huge sign that we are just deeply needing validation from ourselves.
Let’s try this visualization exercise. In my self-love coaching, I use this analogy and technique to visualize the ways we allow people’s opinions to control our lives. So let’s visualize a set of a television sitcom that’s recorded in front of a live studio audience. So if you’ve ever seen any behind the scenes footage of how television sitcoms are made, you can envision the set, or the stage where the actors perform and then, there’s the seating area where the live studio audience sits. So let’s say for this analogy, you are the actor, and the set and the whole show represents your life. In this particular sitcom, you’re not only the actor, you’re the writer, the director, the producer, all of it. The people who are your studio audience are the various people who you’ve connected with in your life. There are family members, old friends, new friends, acquaintances, co-workers, managers, neighbors, cafe baristas, the people you walk by down the street, pretty much everyone you’ve ever come into contact with makes up your very, very large studio audience.
So while you’re creating, starring in, and putting on this show, called your life, it can feel like everyone you’ve ever encountered who make up what you consider to be your society, is watching it, judging it, laughing at it, booing, cheering, or tweeting about how much it sucks. All of these people in your studio audience are watching the show, but they’re all reacting differently to it and forming their own opinions about it. In this sitcom, and this studio audience, you’re not going to be able to get every single person to have the same reaction to your show, because you can’t control anyone’s reaction to your life, your show. They’re all perceiving your show differently. And you can’t allow your studio audience to affect how you feel about your own show, because it’s YOUR show.
When it comes to creating your own life, it’s not about doing it to make everyone in the audience happy, everyone in your life happy – it’s to make you happy. Even the people you care the most about pleasing, it’s not for them. We can’t create our lives for the validation of others, we create it for the validation of our own authentic self.
The kicker with all of these feelings of being obligated to be someone you’re not or feeling expected by other people to be a certain way that feels inauthentic to you, a lot of what you believe other people are thinking about you, is your own projection of your insecurities. In some cases, not all cases, but some, what you think other people are thinking about you or what you think about how they think about your life is actually made up by your ego mind. Another element of this is that we all have different perceptions of society.
When we fear expressing our authenticity, because we’re worried about what other people will think, and we care too much about being perceived a certain way by other people, we block our creative flow of self-expression. We express ourselves in infinite ways, especially through speaking, but when I refer to speaking, I don’t mean vocal language, using the vocal chords to make sounds and communicate. Speaking is self-expression that takes form in a multitude of ways.
Our thoughts speak. Our feelings speak. So do our actions and intentions. Even those who don’t speak with their voice, but communicate through other forms of language, speak too.
When we speak our truth compassionately and express ourselves fearlessly, our authenticity glows. Your aura and your energy are undeniable.
Those that fear their own darkness and light won’t be able to recognize the glow of authenticity in others, because they haven’t experienced it within themselves. And you don’t have to dim yourself, because other people are used to hiding from their own authenticity. Don’t turn the heat of your heart down, because the people in the room are too warm. You’re here to burn the fire in your heart so brightly, vibrantly, and proudly. How you use this fire within your heart creates the glow of your authenticity. It’s important that your intentions are pure and help serve a connected, compassionate world. Do you use your fire as a torch, lighting the way for others on our collective journey, returning to love? Do you use it like a lighthouse, signaling to those who feel lost and alone that they are supported? Or do you use the fire to burn other people?
When your authenticity glows, you captivate people. People are in awe of you and what you’ve been capable of awakening within yourself. You’re not obligated to awaken other people, because everyone is on their own journey and path, but it’s an inevitable symptom that those around you experience, witnessing how you glow. They are affected energetically, on conscious and unconscious levels.
When you remember how powerful your essence of Pure, Divine Love is, you become more intentional with how you utilize this authentic glow. You become more mindful of your actions, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and words you speak.
This brings us to the second part of this episode which is about compassionate intentions. If you visualize your path of authenticity, self-expression, self-love, and remembering as a river, your intention is the current that moves the little boat you’re sitting in. The more your intentions are in alignment with Pure, Divine Love, the easier and steadier your current flows. The thing is, while you’re in your little boat, you don’t have a paddle or an ore to steer the boat with, you use your self-trust and your self-faith to allow the current to guide you along your path. Pure trust in yourself and pure faith in yourself steer you while your intentions shift you along the river.
I know from my own experience that it hasn’t been easy for me to feel fully confident presenting myself to the world. For the past year, I’ve been producing and facilitating events in Boston like empowerment workshops where I talk about my adoptee experience and how I’ve learned self-love through that, and I have open-mic nights where I feature the works of my very incredibly talented friends. It’s been easier for me to see the brilliance of other people before recognizing the brilliance in myself. But in remembering that we all are reflections of each other, so what I see in someone else, I’m being shown that that characteristic and quality exists in me as well. By doing these events and seeing other artists and performers speak into the microphone with courage, grace, and openness, it’s been teaching me what fearlessly showing up looks like. More and more fearlessly showing up. No censoring themselves, no over-editing their words, not caring if they don’t hit all of their notes, not caring if they forget the words, not worried about how many people are in the audience, not even worried about what the audience thinks – just showing up, being there for themselves is so powerful to watch. Putting these events together and promoting them isn’t super easy, but I commit to it, because there’s so much vibrant energy in the room when the event is actually happening. The days leading up to the event, I get worried about attendance, but everyone who is there, is meant to be in that room. Doing these events have been teaching me patience and trust too.
Everything that I do is compassionately intentional, without a doubt. I do have haters that don’t think my intentions are so pure, because they don’t know me, and they don’t know themselves. But I will say that the benefit of haters is that they’ve helped me stop caring about what other people think. Everyone is going to judge you, and everyone is going to have a different perception of you. And their judgements and how they perceive you has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with the relationship they have with themselves. So if I threaten people because my heart burns a little too hot for the temperature they’re used to, I can’t control that. I can’t control what anyone thinks of me, but I can control how I think of me. I can intentionally and patiently work with my heart and my mind to agree that I’m not perfect, but I care a lot about people. And I know what it’s like to feel like my own enemy, and it’s important to remind people that they don’t have to feel that way. You can’t control over how other people feel about you, but you have control over how you feel about yourself. And it can always be better.
With kind-loving and accepting intentions, the more I show up for myself, the more I can show up for humanity. We can’t change anyone, but they are affected when they witness someone who shows up for themself. In that way, showing up impacts all of us. So we can show up in ways that celebrate and honor unity, intentionally change the world, and allow us to push through fears of being seen.
We deserve to let our brilliance shine. Don’t let the fear of other people’s judgements make you feel like you need to dim your shine. When you no longer feel expected or obligated by the people in your studio audience to play by their rules, you liberate yourself. When you speak into the mic, and you share a piece of your authenticity, you free yourself. When you know that you’re perfectly imperfect, and everyone else is perfectly imperfect, that we are all flawed, any resentment you’ve been carrying around is released. And you liberate yourself. We all make mistakes, but not everyone has the intention to be better and do better next time. Be the person who chooses to be better and do better.
Thank you for listening today. You are loved so profoundly. Thank you for being here at this time to assist the evolution of humanity. Thank you for being a leader of the self-love movement. Remember Who You Really Are. Love always, and I’ll meet you at the next one.